Help me, please? I really need you right now.

by Bernard
(Pondicherry, Pondicherry, India)

I can’t even complain to you anymore because I feel like I’m repeating myself- no, I am repeating myself, and I feel like there’s nothing more to say, so I’m sorry if I don’t talk to you that much as before. I just feel like nothing has gotten better. I thought you said everything would be okay, but it’s not, and I’m so confused.

And I don’t think it’s very healthy for me to be contemplating suicide on a regular basis now.
I always told myself that I would never do that, I would never give up, but I guess I’m a hypocrite now.

I really don’t know what to do anymore, and Im 99.99% sure that I am lost. I don’t understand. Why would this happen to me, God. U told me that you wouldn’t let me fall because I worked so hard for her to love me.
It worked, but why did it end up like this? I want to believe that this was triggered by something, and I believe it’s all of my fault. It is. Now, I’m a fool. I think you’re trying to tell me something, but I just can’t seem to understand what you’re trying to say. I guess I’m just a stupid boyl. I’m a silly boy. Why did I think that she cared about me? Why did I think, and why do I still think sometimes that she’s the one? I don’t like feeling like this anymore, and I feel so broken now, and the next thing to happen to me is very bad. I want to go to Heaven, God, but I’m scared of killing myself. I don’t know where my hope has gone now. I don’t think there’s much of it left.

I just wish you would answer my questions. That’d be nice.
I just want to know, Why me, God, why me? Are you testing me? Because it’s working. I don’t know how far I can go from here. My love for her is bittersweet, and it is like poison in my heart.
Why can’t I be loved? Why can’t I be good enough? I thought if I started caring about what I looked like, how popular I was, who knew me, who I knew, my grades, and my personality, I thought that everything would be different. It’s not. I think I am more miserable than ever before, and I don’t know why. I wish I was somewhere sunny, like the beach, and I wish I could forget about my life here, and just relax and contemplate about my life.
I don’t know what will happen over the next three years, but maybe there’s a reason why I can’t let go. I wonder if it’s fate for her and I. Everything just seems so planned out, just like you planned it to happen God.
I’ll always love her, and I still do now. It hurts to see her, and I try to look away, but it hurts so, so, so, so bad.

Please, make it stop.
Please, God, put me out of my misery.
Give me a sign that everything will be okay.
I love you.
Amen.

Comments for Help me, please? I really need you right now.

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Be at peace
by: Anonymous

Don't get your happiness from another person! You will only get peace from Christ.

to Bernard
by: Anonymous

God hears your prayers and He will never forsake you. Our God is a faithful God and he will heal the brokenhearted. Your heart may be crushed because of heartbrokenness and disappointment, but God heals all. He loves you and will never forsake you. He wants you to acknowledge Him. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. You know how you love? He loves you above and beyond 1000xs more than we can ever imagine how to love. So, imagine how he feels when we don't love him back the same way. He wants you to love him the same way BUT the only difference is He will never forsake you or abandon you. Rejoice in Him and the fact that his love for you is the same yesterday, today and forevermore. His love is unconditional. No person or thing can ever trump that kind of love. He wants you to acknowledge Him and honor him as the lover of your soul. He will make your paths straight and give you the desires of your heart - just Trust in Him with all your heart and mind and soul. It will be given to you, in Jesus' name. Amen.

BE STRONG
by: Shiv

My dear brother,

The lord our father is always with you every second of your trial..I do not know exactly what you are going through but I really do feel your pain and you are not alone in this..

Fight it my brother and see the way the lord our father brings you through. Don't ever forget that he is always with you and loves you ever so much...more than you and I could ever know..

Fight it alone within yourself and you will get through this tough period you are going through.

He loves you don't forget that..For you to even breath each day is a miracle given by our father.

God bless you


i am praying for you
by: Anonymous

I'm praying for U

Keep hanging in!
by: Cindi

Love is powerful. You have the ability to love, that's a good thing! I know you are hurting now. And it sounds like you are young and really need to talk to your parents and/or a trusted friend. My ex husband used to beat me but I thought I loved him. I had to leave so my kids wouldn't see him hurt me as they grew. But my pain was intense. I thought I wouldn't survive with out him. I thought especially since we had children together it was God's plan. Luckily I did some things that helped me feel better. It took awhile but if you practice what I say, I can't imagine you won't get relief.

Imagine just for a moment that you are not together. That you were not meant to be together and you won't be together. When the pain gets to intense, maybe less then 30 seconds. Maybe longer. Let your self go back to the thoughts you know are unrealistic. Such as you will be together. Try not to make it a fairy tale. Just you are together. When you've recovered imagine moving on again. When I first tried this I was only capable of seconds and then minutes at a time. Gradually I got stronger and better at staying with the thought that I would be fine without him. Eventually I saw that my relationship was not what I pretended it was. He hurt me. We were not good together, etc.

Focus on something other than this. Life is full stuff. You won't see opportunity if you see pain of not getting what you think you want. I'd still be with my ex getting beat (if he didn't kill me) had I not decided to try to see outside of the box. I have a loving husband now. You're young, you will meet and date many people. Love takes time, patience and both people to be in agreement.

My son had his heart stomped on by a girl who played him. She was seeing many guys behind his back. He trusted her. Trust is a good thing. He choose the wrong person to trust. She kept lying to him. He was so tore up calling me every night and crying. He thought there was something wrong with him. he tried to change. started drinking like she did and doing things he'd normally nor do. At one point he shocked me by saying if he couldn't have her he thought he would die. He kept letting her come back after she'd dump him. I think his lowest point was when he told me he was willing to let her see all of these other men, if he could only be with his "angel". This probably wasn't your situation but the point I'm trying to make and I made it to him: don't lower yourself. Don't settle. If someone doesn't want to be with you, they have that right. What if it'd been you that changed your mind? Life changes. People change, especially when young. Don't assume there is anything wrong with you. It just is. And one day, you will be fine because you will find someone you really love. My son loves the girlfriend he has now and knows he can trust her.

Stay in faith.

Trust in him!
by: Anonymous

Don't give up! Things will get better

Don't give up!
by: Anonymous

You love God and God loves you. I went to a priest recently because I'm going through I really hard relationship/health issue. He made me realize that I was consumed with putting my boyfriend first, instead of God. I now know I need to focus my energy on God and then things will work out. Some days are still really hard, but most days are a lot better. Stop thinking about what was and focus on what will be. Keep praying and praising God. There is so much still to come. Life will be awesome if that's what you want. I know it. The day will come when you will feel that joy that the Lord wants you to have. Open up your heart to Him and listen. With faith anything is possible. He doesn't want you to suffer. Things will get better. God bless.

strength
by: Anonymous

Pain goes away. God has his own plan which we don't always see or undertstand right away. There is a song by Randy Houser "In God's time". Find it watch the video if possible. God's time isn't necessarily our time. Another good song Gary Allen "every storm runs out of rain". There is a plan for u don't give up. Somewhere there is some who is thinking about u and someone who loves u. Some day you will have a girl who 's better for u. U will feel at peace with this person. Maybe not today ir next week, but she'll be there. God's most precious gift is life. Jesus died so we could live. Keep praying for strength. He is listening.

strength
by: Anonymous

Pain goes away. God has his own plan which we don't always see or undertstand right away. There is a song by Randy Houser "In God's time". Find it watch the video if possible. God's time isn't necessarily our time. Another good song Gary Allen "every storm runs out of rain". There is a plan for u don't give up. Somewhere there is some who is thinking about u and someone who loves u. Some day you will have a girl who 's better for u. U will feel at peace with this person. Maybe not today ir next week, but she'll be there. God's most precious gift is life. Jesus died so we could live. Keep praying for strength. He is listening.

God is there!
by: Anonymous

Bernard The word say you can do all things thru Christ that strengthen you.Phil 4:13. Ask God to strenghen you.
You say you cant get her out of your mind (I can't) is the twin brother to (I don't want to.)
Bernard you have your mind on the wrong things put your mind on phil 4:8-9.Keep your thoughts on his word and your focus on him.
You say she is bittersweet and poision to your heart.
Why on earth would you want someone who is bitter and poision to to you? Poison kills!
Bernard your heart is getting you into trouble please read Jerimiah 7:9 Proverb 28:26
Bernard God is your helper according to Psa 54:4 If you need him now he is there to help you! Just ask him.
He said in Psa 84:11 he will not withhold anything good from you. If you can not hold on to it it is not good enough for you.
I will pray that good will give you wisdom and peace.
Father in the name of jesue I lift Bernaud before you and ask the holy spirt to help him to be transformed by the renewing of his mind by your word, lord give him wisdom and you peace help him to remember that you will never leave him or forsake him. Amen

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