I need the prayers of all those who read this

by Mary
(Toronto, Ontario, Canada)

Hello,


Years ago I wrote and asked for God's help. I heard from so many people who told me that they were praying for me and I was so touched by the response and I thanked all those who prayed for me.

I managed to hang on but at this point in time, I've lost all hope and I want to die. I'm disabled and for that I receive $700 a month from Canada Pension. My rent has just been raised to $927. As you can see that leaves me short in my rent alone. It doesn't take into account ANY other expenses.

After the people from this site prayed for me, I got an idea that appeared right out of the blue. I realised that I could teach and tutor a variety of subjects including English as a Second Language.

Due to my disability, I was only able to do this part-time but I could choose my own hours. I wasn't doing this illegally - CPP allows a person to make up to a certain amount of money per month without having to declare it. Doing this helped me both financially and mentally and spiritually.

I found that doing this helped me heal from so much mental pain that I thanked God every single day and all the people who without knowing me took the time to tell me that they cared and would pray for me.

I don't want to bore you all with what's happened to me since September but I've hung on as long as I can. I don't think I'm able to live any more. I saw my doctor a couple of months ago for a check-up. Because my disability causes me so much physical pain I'm on extremely strong Opiates - a synthetic Heroin and another Morphine based med. for break-through pain. I don't get any kind of "High" from these meds so there is no escape in taking them. They just dull the pain.

I had told my doctor about how I was feeling and she told me that at least she knew I wasn't going to kill myself because I would have done it before now and that I certainly had the resources to do it (she meant the meds).

I thought in my head how totally wrong she was. I am on the verge of taking my own life. I have no money for food, a phone, internet, and the most simple of things like soap, toilet-paper (a little embarrassing but we all use it) or any kind of house-hold products. I have no money to take the transit. I have an old car but cannot afford the insurance. When I drove, gas didn't cost much because I would go straight to work and come back.

I'm so sorry for boring anyone who may be reading this. I know how difficult life is for others. I just cannot hold on anymore. I have no family support and I'm all alone except of 2 old cats who have been with me for over 20 years now.

I suppose I'll have to make some kind of arrangement for them but who will be nice enough to adopt 2 cats at their age? I will not be able to have them put down just because I'm going. What I'm hoping and begging is for God to hear my prayers and help me. I'm also begging anyone who may be reading this to please pray for me. The prayers worked for me before.

Do I dare ask for another miracle?

Comments for I need the prayers of all those who read this

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patiency prayer
by: Anonymous

the child of god please god is patient and he also needs us to be patience so that he can perform his miracles,he has a purpose for you and the life that he chose you to live today,i pray with you for him toreduce the pain and suffering that your are in right now in the name of jesus amen

everything is going to be just fine
by: Anonymous

God loves you Mary just hold on and be strong. walk by faith and not by sight.

Faith Hope and Love are all around You
by: Anonymous

Keep him close to your heart, remembering who he is and what he has done for you and all of us , is Important. Faith in him, is a sign of graditude for his giving of himself for all of us ( That includes You). Hope is what he shared with his people, that we are all of one God ,and to have that inside all of us is truely a gift, we have so many things to be hopeful about in our lives, They often go unused, or forgotten, (example the feeling of love in our hearts, the happiness we can share with others and mostly the love that he shares of himself that he loves us unconditionaly, know matter what. and finally Love , people all over the world can share this with eachother and those whom have replied to you have shared with you just that, we all love you and wish to continue too. love is a wonderful thing and I for one hope that you feel loved by the many that have and will keep you in their prayers to over come this feeling of not being able to hold on, I to have thought of what's the point in staying here with all thats going on in my life, and you know what I felt the power of prayer, love , and dedication from others. and a washing of sins, hoplessness, guilt, be washed away from people like you that have hope and belief in themselves. You have taken the time to ask for help here and that discribes all the hope in people and mostly GOD himself. I wish that all your prayers will be answered, because if you believe in your heart they were answered they have, and will be. TRUST HIM for He is a Great and Loving God.

Faith Hope and Love are all around You
by: Anonymous

Keep him close to your heart, remembering who he is and what he has done for you and all of us , is Important. Faith in him, is a sign of graditude for his giving of himself for all of us ( That includes You). Hope is what he shared with his people, that we are all of one God ,and to have that inside all of us is truely a gift, we have so many things to be hopeful about in our lives, They often go unused, or forgotten, (example the feeling of love in our hearts, the happiness we can share with others and mostly the love that he shares of himself that he loves us unconditionaly, know matter what. and finally Love , people all over the world can share this with eachother and those whom have replied to you have shared with you just that, we all love you and wish to continue too. love is a wonderful thing and I for one hope that you feel loved by the many that have and will keep you in their prayers to over come this feeling of not being able to hold on, I to have thought of what's the point in staying here with all thats going on in my life, and you know what I felt the power of prayer, love , and dedication from others. and a washing of sins, hoplessness, guilt, be washed away from people like you that have hope and belief in themselves. You have taken the time to ask for help here and that discribes all the hope in people and mostly GOD himself. I wish that all your prayers will be answered, because if you believe in your heart they were answered they have, and will be. TRUST HIM for He is a Great and Loving God.

life is hard
by: Anonymous

I hear your story. You must keep strong and believe that he is out there.God Loves you and so do I.keep that faith

Believe in yourself
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry to hear your story. It truly pains me to hear of such suffering. All I can say is that you must try to dig into your own self and see what strength lies within. I'm sorry to say there is no external super natural god, but when we feel the presence of one, we are simply feeling what is there. If you find strength from prayer, just remember that is YOU that is feeling that strength. I know that might feel like you are alone, but you are not. Just look at the outpourings from these responses, including mine. There are many people who sympathize, because we have been there too, or close by at least. Maybe you should stop taking your meds, and fight through the pain for a while so you have a clear head and see what new insights you feel. That might be the most difficult of all, but you need to clean the slate. Do physical therapy to slowly repair where the pain lies. Eat good food, food that will help you grow strong. Have healthy thoughts. Stand up high, chin up, chest out, breath deep. Believe in you. you won't get any help from space. You need to find it within.

Have Hope Keep Faith
by: Anonymous

May the Lord Bless you and be with you always.I am praying for you.

Mary in Toronto
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain Ms Mary..Life is so hard but as all the others have already stated ,God loves us all..my animals seem to be my only escape from this harsh world we live in today..they ARE an unconditional love!They ARE God's creatures..Look, I've been so depressed myself lately & that's why I'm looking on this site for help & friendship too.Suicide isn't the answer,believe me I've thought about it,& besides it being wrong I think it's the most selfish thing one can do to their loved ones..Good luck my friend & I pray for something good to come your way..I LOVE YOU

I am praying for you
by: Barbara

My heart goes out to you in your dark time. I am praying that God will ease your suffering, and that you'll find or create fullfiling work that will allow you to pay your bills. I also pray that you can hang on so that your cats will not need to grieve for you. If you do not have a church family, find one. Ask God to guide you to the faith community that will help you through this. Don't try to go this alone. We on the internet can and will pray for you, but a faith community can give you some tangible help.

KEEP THE FAITH
by: Anonymous

i will pray for you. hope that my prayers can heal your pain. hold on and never let go of HIM. it is in your darkest times that HE is with you. believe, believe, have faith. to GOD be the GLORY.

I prayed for you
by: Anonymous

I prayed for you. Knowing that GOD is who HE is, know that a miracle is on its way to you. Fear not child of GOD, because HE is the ALMIGHTY and HE'S the one who can change your situation. Your problems are already solved. Live in peace and pain free. Grace be to GOD..

psalm 34:19
by: Anonymous

I have prayed for you dear one. Psalm 34:19 states that "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivereth him from them all."
Satan in the bible is referred to as the prince of this world. People that belong to him thrive here. People that belong to God struggle, mainly because there are evil forces working against them constantly to make them doubt that God is real and cares about them.
Your life on earth is temporary. Heaven is your permanent home that is your promised possession forever. Do not let the devil let you believe that God does not care about you. Remember that he allowed his own son to endure horrific pain and spiritual anguish to save us. Some of Jesus's disciples were crucified upside down, John the Baptist had his head cut off, Christians were fed to the lions for the Roman people's entertainment. Your physical suffering is not in vain. Your physical pain is coming from the devil, not God. All suffering on this earth is from him. There is no more suffering in heaven because the devil is not allowed there. Someday in heaven, your body will be perfect and no longer be sick. The devil wants to rob you of the joy that you will have one day. Killing yourself will give the devil glory and could possibly prevent your entrance into heaven. Do not even go there.

Jesus said in Matthew 19:26 "With man things are impossible, but with God all things are possible. Seek God for help with your financial problems. There may be charitable organizations in your area that could help you. Call your local united way or salvation army, they are in touch with all the charities. Seek God for help with your physical pain. Maybe there is a treatment you have yet discovered. You can find information on alternative medical treatments on the internet. For example, my stepson had diabetes so terrible he developed neuropathy. We found on the web that there is a treatment called the rebuilder (an electronic device that rebuilds nerves). If your nerves are damaged, you may want to investigate this.

Finally, I want to tell you that you need to be in companionship with some christian friends and not be alone and start reading the bible. God permits affliction from the devil because it draws us closer to him because we need him so much. We spiritually grow when we suffer(kind of like how manure makes a garden grow). You can find all sorts of natural spiritual laws in nature. God bless you! your are going to make it! God is going to deliver you! Expect it in faith. IF you pray in faith that you will receive your answers, you will. Jesus says that faith can move a mountain. God Bless and peace.
your anonymous sister(I'll meet you in heaven someday).

Prayer for my daughter
by: Annie

As you see I'm here toninte o sleeping and asking the lord god and all who reads this for prayer she needs love and joy in her life she is a beautiful person Annie is her name please pray for her and us for you on here also amen

By faith receive
by: Anonymous

Father in heaven, thank you for the life of your daughter. Forgive her of her sins. Show unto her your mercy, breakthrough and above all your healing. Give her a testimony and a reason to testify your goodness. By the super natural healing in your blood, I pray that she´d be healed in Jesus name. AMEN

I too am praying for you
by: Anonymous

dear mary
i just wanted to say i am praying for you too and sending so much love your way.god loves youxxxxx

Living Space
by: Resa

I pray for pain relief and a nice place to live. Perhaps sharing a room or apt with another can help. I hope and pray your cats can stay with you too! †

you are special
by: Anonymous

Mary.....please hold on especially for your cats..they need you...i will pray for you now!! dont lose hope....you are LOVED!!!!

I'm praying for you
by: Anonymous

Mary,

Please don't lose hope.

Life can be very difficult some times. Know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Are there no other resources to help you? Are there no other Government programs that might give you assistance?

I am praying that you are taken care of. God bless you very much.

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