Infidelity, Narcissism and Financial Crisis

I have been with a man, whom i adore, for almost 7 yeas. Throughout that time, our life has been a constant rollercoaster ride filled with drama and heartache, for one reason or another. I have left him on three occasions in the 7 years to live outside the home, as the abuse became to great to reside in the situation with our children (three each from previous marriages). We recently got back together again in February of this year after he had chosen to move to another state for 6 months.

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I was very reluctant to take him back again, but he once again manipulated my emotions and my love right back into his arms. He made many promises that he had no intention of keeping. We sold our home and moved to a smaller one in April (which is what he has been begging to do for 3 years). Although i had never been happier in my life with him than I was from February - May, it all started to fall apart again in June.

Back on October 5th, i received an email from my husband where he discoloses to me that he has another woman in his life. That following Friday night, my husband did not come home, so by 4am on Saturday morning, after a sleepless and anxiety filled night, i got in the car with my dog and asked God to lead me to my husband truck - He did. I rang the doorbell and discoverd that this was a person whow me had been texting years earlier.

I also leared after that this affair started back in June when she came to him and asked him to do some work for her at her house (he is a contractor). So all of this time I thought we were starting a new life together, i had forgiven him for all of the past 6 years and believed that we were finally going to grow old and die together, he was having an affair. He left the house that evening and moved in with her and her children (and his 16 year old son). My new counselor has finally given me some answers and insight into the last emotinally traumatic 7 years of my life. My counselor believes that my husband has one of the most sever forms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and after doing hours and hours of research, there is no way of denying that this is exactly why our life has been the way is has.

Now here i am all alone to try and pick up the pieces of knowing that the last 7 years of my life was a lie and that the love i poured out to him and his family was never recieved nor could it ever be given back. I provided him with the narcissistic supply that he needed, which enabled him to keep coming back, but it was never out of love or committment that he came back. Not only do i have to face and deal with this, but now i have to face the fact that he has brought another woman into our lives who has been there for the last four months of our 8 months back together.

I also know and pray for this other woman and her family because if she does not figure him out before he gets his narcissistic hooks into her, her life and those of her children will never be the same again eihter. I love this man with all my heart and soul...i had figured him out, i had studied him, i know his likes and dislikes, i know him better than he knows himself, and i had commited to accepting all of that...but once again the joke was on me.

I need to somehow turn my heart, mind and soul off to this man, but he still has his hooks into me and continues to play emotional heart and mind games with me daily. I am struggling to find some financial peace as well in order for me to maintain and keep our house on my single income. Please pray for all of the parties involved.

God Bless!

Comments for Infidelity, Narcissism and Financial Crisis

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Living blindly with a cheating narcisist
by: Anonymous

It amazed me to read this woman's story of her [ preciously married with children ] husband she just "adored". [ and they had no children of their own in 7 years ] let me start from her ending. She prays for this other woman he is with now. She never went to the precious spouses to ask what the problem was for their divorce nor pray for them. My guess is she thought they were some big bad wives who didn't know the right way to "treat their man". Putting her in a smaller home and leaving for months should have told her he was down sizing on his expenses to accommodate more of his self indulgence. It sounds like there might be some co dependency and other issues with her to be so worried about the woman he is with now and not feel some remorse for the prior wives. Then the issue which she sets aside from her focus on him is the children of the prior wives visiting or he had custody. There seemed to be no concern for their welfare and being "tossed about" from woman to woman. And the very possibility one of these children could end up just like him by the same DNA as well as learning by example. So, you were not the "princess rescuing him from his terrible ex wives you were just the next in line. And even if you remained with him which you could have done by tolerating his insanity putting blinders on, he most likely would have enjoyed the hide with more then one woman. I really don't mean to pick on her, I have just seen this same type of woman and wish woman had more humanity-and integrity toward other woman. If her concern the next woman were focused like that on the prior one[s] and she opened her eyes and ears she might not have ever married the jerk in first place. Praying for all the parties involved should have begun with your asking for discernment prior to engaging in a relationship with a man who has been married several times with children. Your prayers should go with the prior wives and all the children who suffer from this immoral behavior. And any future children he adds to this list.

Jesus give me the will power to stay away
by: Anonymous

I too have been in a narcissistic relationship for 6 years. He lied, cheated, deceived,manipulated... we have to remember that Satan also is listening when we pray. I prayed that the Lord would bless me with a loving, kind hearted, respectful man . ive always liked a certain type of man but this time I asked the Lord to send me a good man. well I met OW and because he looked different I just knew he was GOD sent but 6 years later I finally see that he's one of Satan soldiers. He befriended his neighbour and started sleeping with his wife. NOW this man and his eofe are divorced and OW and I are not together because hes still sleeping with this mans now x and lying about it. I love him with all my heart but I know hes not good for me. yesterday he changed his phone number and I haven't heard from him. There is do much more to this story. but im asking in the name of Jesus that ALL the feel.ings and emotions I have for him be removed

easier said than done
by: Veronica

It is very easy for anyone to say, why would u stay with him, leave him before he does it again, if that was me I'd be done with him, just pack up and leave before he really hurts you, or you can do bad all by yourself!! Yes it is true all that is good advice, but until your in that situation you don't know what you'd do or if you would leave or have the courage to leave or the will, the financial ability to leave is also an issue when deciding to end a marriage or relationship, so my advice is this, to anyone that has a friend, mom, sis, aunt, cousin, anyone, male or female just be there to listen, let them vent, cry, break down, pray with them and over them, strengthen the lords light around them, help them feel better about themselves, do not scold them or punish them by saying it's there fault got allowing it, in reality no one allows some one to mistreat them, the reality of it is this: the victim is actually has unconditional love for the abuser, loves the abuser with all their faults, the victim knows they are being mistreated but it also causes pain to be without the abuser,i know I've been there done that and I'm currently in love with an abuser and I'm currently trying so very hard to loving him, it's so so very difficult being without him i Miss him so much and justify the abusive things he does to me and I make conscience decisions to allow the abuse to go on, and i always need someone to talk to and just be there for me, but a lot of the times i get why are you with him, why bother, your dumb, stuff like that so I keep it bottled up,for all of you going thru a tough time know in your heart they're are other people going they it with you and pray for them and with them and maybe we can all have our prayers heard at once and we all know the power of prayer is the most powerful defense of all! God bless us all, In Jesus Name Amen

easier said than done
by: Veronica

It is very easy for anyone to say, why would u stay with him, leave him before he does it again, if that was me I'd be done with him, just pack up and leave before he really hurts you, or you can do bad all by yourself!! Yes it is true all that is good advice, but until your in that situation you don't know what you'd do or if you would leave or have the courage to leave or the will, the financial ability to leave is also an issue when deciding to end a marriage or relationship, so my advice is this, to anyone that has a friend, mom, sis, aunt, cousin, anyone, male or female just be there to listen, let them vent, cry, break down, pray with them and over them, strengthen the lords light around them, help them feel better about themselves, do not scold them or punish them by saying it's there fault got allowing it, in reality no one allows some one to mistreat them, the reality of it is this: the victim is actually has unconditional love for the abuser, loves the abuser with all their faults, the victim knows they are being mistreated but it also causes pain to be without the abuser,i know I've been there done that and I'm currently in love with an abuser and I'm currently trying so very hard to loving him, it's so so very difficult being without him i Miss him so much and justify the abusive things he does to me and I make conscience decisions to allow the abuse to go on, and i always need someone to talk to and just be there for me, but a lot of the times i get why are you with him, why bother, your dumb, stuff like that so I keep it bottled up,for all of you going thru a tough time know in your heart they're are other people going they it with you and pray for them and with them and maybe we can all have our prayers heard at once and we all know the power of prayer is the most powerful defense of all! God bless us all, In Jesus Name Amen

Infidelity/Narcissism Crisis
by: Anonymous

I have been in a relationship with a man for 5yrs. I mean my heart n soul was involved. But every year he was dealing with another person. It got to the point I couldn't take it anymore so I left. I met a new guy n he treated me with the up most respect n than I started to like him a lot but long behold my ex from 5yrs comes back n says how much he's sorry n how he's going to do right. And of course I take him back why?? Because I still loved him. 6-7 months into our relationship my female intuition kicked in and of course he was still dealing with the same girl I left him for and than 3 months after that another female called me to tell me she too was dealing with him but mine you this other female is married herself and she work in the same building as we. So alllllll of his words meant nothing. Idk how long it's going to be until I can recover from this. It's been 3 months now n I still feel the pain. I feel betrayed. All I can do now is ask The Lord for strength and forgiveness.

I lost my last 7 years also
by: Anonymous

I was married also to a man for 7 years he never worked he was a alcoholic but I still loved him heart and soul he constantly thought he could break the law and never get caught and I thought I could change him I went through years of emotional abuse but I pray for us both that we can open our heart to the lord and I know he will help us through this. Stay strong and keep praying

The Unsuspecting
by: Anonymous

I too have been in a relationship with a narcissist for 7 years. I just recently figured out the term for what he is. He has had multiple affairs, addictions to alcohol,porn,sex,and drugs. If he does something for you there is always something he needs in return. Very emotionally imature. Does not feel....for anything.Conversations with him are very superficial, nothing deep. He has habitually lied about almost everything. Extremely deceitful. Cannot look at anything that requires any personal work. Becomes rageful at any kind of constructive criticism. They always have an answer for their lies when they are caught. They truly believe that this behavior is ok and they don't believe anything is wrong with them. They are basically not candidates for any kind of rehab. Just walk away,sever ties if you can and move on.Educate yourself for the next time, they are everywhere.

Emotional Roller coaster
by: Anonymous

I too have been in and out of a relationship with a man for 7 years. He keeps leaving me to go back to ther mother of his children. They stay together for about 2 months...the longest has been 6 months. Then she no longer wants him and his remorse causes him to get back on drugs. (btw-he's a recovering chemical dependent). I feel sorry for him & plays on my emotions so I usually take him back. This last time we got back together in December and in January I was diagnosed with breast cancer. OMG, I was totally deferred and do was he. He has been there throughout my chemo, my surgery and my recovery. I was so sure that this trial would bring us closer. Unfortunately, I found out today that he has been secretly sleeping with the mother of his children again.

Please pray for me to have strength to make a break from this rollercoaster once and for all.

confused by his behavior
by: Anonymous

I've been living with the same man for over 15 years. I don't know why I've stayed for so long because he's been very disrespectful of my feelings all along. My self esteem suffers as I'm always being told I'm too sensitive and selfish and why does it always have to be about me, (when I get upset about feeling ignored, unloved, etc). Recently, I found out that he has been on man 2 man sites, posting naked pics of himself. He told me that this is a fantasy thing and he was sexually abused when he was a kid and it screwed him up. He says he doesn't want to be this way, has gone for help, and insists he no longer is involved in this type of behavior. I'm having serious doubts as to whether or not he's acted on this, and I'm having a terrible time emotionally. I want to give this to God for wisdom as to what to do.

abuse
by: Anonymous

I was in an abusive relationship for almost 7 years. I finally go the courage to leave, and he came and vandalized my home and scared me and my daughters to death. I have to go to court in the morning to make the temporary order of protection permanent...
Abuse is cyclical, get out ... get out NOW!

Gods rejection is gods protection
by: Courtney

Although its hard for you and you feel your love was all a lie by god haven't him reject you he is protecting you you do not need someone like that In your life it's hard to be alone but you don't need a bad man god bless you I pray for you things will get better you will be ok do not let him play on your emotions any more you out better than that amen in Jesus name god bless you

now she took it all
by: Anonymous

My mother managed to take away everything I was meant to do and everyone I loved through threats, control, etc. She is out of control and she claims to go to be a Christian. She is a Narcissist and has gone rogue. I need prayers that God will provide what I need as mother so I do not lose my home where one of my children live.
I was abused when I was younger and after I told my mom, she told me to go back home to him.
That was not the right answer but I thought she loved me and that she was right. I don't have many friends since she has managed to make me feel worthless. And every time I finally get a break and she finds out my good news, she has to sabotage it because it is not about her.
Anyone that goes to Church on Berry St. In Ft Worth, Travis Avenue Baptist Church. Then chances are you know a well - known couple who only lives for their image. I need prayers for my dad to come back to reality and listen to his daughter. He wants nothing to do with me anymore because of the constant lying my mother does. It is all covert and she is really sick. I wish she could get help, but it is best for me to walk away.
Please pray that I stay strong, God leads the right way for me, and protects my child from her.
I am emotionally abused by her almost every other day and she does this in front of family family members. But her timing has to be perfect in order for it to get this bad. Thank you for your prayers and please know that not everyone is who they are, especially when I decided to go to Church... but that church has some evil people their who don't know the meaning of God's Love.

infidelity
by: Anonymous

thank you for those prayers!! i hope that god answer all my prayer and give me strength....and courage in facing the obstacles in our relationship..,

infidelity
by: Sharon

Im in that situation, my husband cheated on me our situation is that he is working overseas,, I accept the fact that im to far for him that why he having an affair to some one else. He is back last december weve talk, but he telling me he dont love me anymore!! i refused if their anything we can do to working out..pls we do, unfortunately that time he tells me cuts my breath away!!!,nut i know in my heart he still love me, he doest accept that he did something wrong,

Now i just praying that our relationship will work out for our son, and for our love. He is the one that i loved and i hoped that our marriage will stay long with the help of god. They say i must be patience, love is patience, but i was asking for a sign to the lord that its worthed to fight for the love for him, I loved him i asked lord to give me clear vision & courage to face all the conflict that happening to us,, I believe that true love will prevail and good heart will win against the evil.

Let Go and Let God
by: Anonymous

I feel for you and realize how difficult this is. I too have been in toxic relationships and I am here to tell you that the best thing you can do is Let Go and Let God! It is a vicious cycle of abuse many women allow themselves to be subjected to. My question here is why would you want to be with a man who has already cheated on you, the trust is out the window, the loyalty went out the window, the integrity went, as well. Raise your head high and tell yourself everyday that you are a child of God worthy of so much more. Love is a feeling and this same love can be given to someone worthy of receiving it. The psychological abuse is not what God wants us to endure. As a husband, he has failed you and the children. In my opinion, he doesn't deserve your love and commitment. Turn him over to God and focus on yourself - focus on getting yourself to a healthy state of mind and relearn what love is suppose to be. Set higher standards for yourself and claim prosperity over your life - once you get rid of the negative people, positive ones will soon come. God bless you!

prayers for you
by: Sarah

I know what you are going through. My husband of 16yrs came home in Sept of 2010 & said he didn't know if he was still in love with me. It is back & forth with him & I. Get back together then he breaks my heart all over again. I feel like a ping pong ball. Like you, I love him with all my heart & soul. Also I found out he cheated on me with 5 different women & I still took him back. Dec 26th we broke up again & now we are getting a divorce which I don't want. He says because I'm to jealous. I have every right to be. I forgave him but it is hard to forget. We have four kids. Two are still at home with me. He will realize one day the true love that he has lost. & the family. He is the first man I have ever truely loved. My heart will never be the same but I cannot allow him to keep hurting me over & over again. I pray to God everyday & say the marriage prayer. I need concentrate on my kids & me now. I pray that things work out for you. Amen

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