Lord, Please hear my prayers!!
Dear Lord, My heart was broken into. Again, I was rejected...not once, but twice. After 16 months of going with someone, he dumped me. I saw it coming but, like an ostrich, I stuck my head deep into the sand, trying to egnore all the signs. He no longer cared anything about me. He acted bored and disinterested. I knew he was the best I was capable of doing but, he thought he could do better than me and I guess he did. Otherwise, he would not have let me go so easily. I am unworthy of a decent man of ever loving me. I thought with me having a good job and being a little above average in looks and being a good person with a pretty fair personality and funny somewhat would clinch something lasting. But, I egnored the signs at first. He made it clear that he never wanted to remarry again and questioned me a good bit. He would try to put words into my mouth by saying I wouldn't like living out in the country and I asked him why he was saying that. Whatever gave him that idea when I told him I use to stay down at my grandparents place a lot out in the country. Then he told me about things I did not even say! He looked as though he was hunting for something wrong with me a lot. Well, he finally did. I gained 20 lbs and he lost interest in me. Lord, why do you continuelly allow the wrong people to come across my path? Why? You know my heart and everything else has come true but, meeting the one and only to spend the rest of my life with! I am too old to be dating as I use to. No one wants an old and fat woman! No
one I want! I seem to have very little comfort in my prayers...so far the bad issue I feared the most has not happen yet....but, give it another year and then I will be worried about that! I see those who are faithful to you be struck down with cancer and die!! They wanted to see their children have children and never lived to see that. Now a third friend is dying of cancer. Maybe that is the only thing that I have left also. All left this world wanting to live longer. Well, I no longer care about being here and living alone. I am tired, so tired. I never hear my phone ring at night anymore when Dan use to call me...twice a day. I was so thankful to have him. But, he is out of my life and seeing other people now. He did not appreciate me enough. He lost interest in me. He did everything he could to run me off and he finally had to do it for me. No one wants an old and fat woman. They meet me and run. I cannot lose this weight with my back and hips hurting. I get so hungry and tired at night. Please Lord, take my hunger away or take my life so I won't have to live alone for the rest of my life!!! I need someone in my life to love and to be loved by. Please did not allow me to wait any longer...either bring Dan back by appreiciating me much more or bring someone else into my life so I won't be alone again. Please allow me to forgive myself of all my sins that lead me through this miserable journey in life. I will know when my prayer is answered that I feel your forgiveness. In your name, I pray, Jesus! AMEN
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