Please forgive me for killing myself

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Please forgive me for killing myself

by Anonymous
(Maryland)

Dear Lord,

I have failed You in every area. i am living my life under a curse. Although I have been a born again baptized believer for all of my life as far as I an remember, I have been disobedient to the Word, carnal and unable to receive the promise of truth.

The Bible says God does not make mistakes, but we do and He gives us free will. Problem is, I have taken my free will and ruined my life time after time aftr time.

I am defective and unable to do better. I have prayed and cried and have not heard an answer from You that is definitive. i have heard what I thought were answers when it seemed that you have given me the go-ahead in certain things.

Turns out they were all wrong. I am not a blessed soul. i wanted to be a Child of God with all of the earthly manifestations: the husband, the children, the career, the material and spiritual blessings.

being able to teach and preach in God's house rather than to be ashamed to go to church because the Pastor always has something in his sermon about those that are not married or something to that effect.

I am so sorry Lord that I have failed you and have not heard your plan for my life. I have seen success manifested in others, but for me I don't feel it is meant to be.

I will be 50 in a couple of weeks and I have not had opportunity to even work on a job for 3 complete years despite having my parents waste money on a 4 year college degree.

I am a failure at everything and it is time from me to stop following myself and bothering you with useless prayers that just hit the ceiling. So, Lord I am not going to bother You anymore.

If I die today, there will be no one who knows or will be affected anyway.

I wish it were different, but it's not. I am sorry, please forgive me. I tried. Amen.

Comments for
Please forgive me for killing myself

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God has a purpose for you. NEW
by: Anonymous

I believe in God and his love for us. May you find assurance and comfort in your dark times.

My time is not God's time NEW
by: Anonymous

I am encouraged by your comments. I am still here. Stuff has not improved, but has gotten worse. Must be a reason that it's all happening like this. I went to the hospital on February 8 to have a minor procedure done. Turned out to be a really major operation that left me incapacitated for over a month because there was a blockage that was suspected to be cancer. Because I was out of school longer than expected, I was withdrawn from the program. While I was out, my boyfriend passed away suddenly on March 1. We had not known each other long, but he was a wonderful person. I ran out of leave and money and had to go back to work Tuesday. I am still recovering internally because the surgery was extensive. I cannot pay rent this month. My family is unable to help because they are living with me because of financial hardship. I am drowning in debt, loneliness, uncertainty, sickness and sadness. But I thank God for His being so generous as to spare my life when I tried (unsuccesfully)to take it. His wisdom is unsearcheable. His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. I have no idea what His plan is for my life. I cannot see the light. But I thank Him that He has sent you all as angels by to encourage me at a time when it is dark.

I pray that I will be able to do the same for you one day.

trust in the lord sister! NEW
by: Anonymous

I know what it's like to feel hopeless about things,i even tried to commit suicide with a gun,i am glad i didn't go through with it.Please keep asking the lord for help,i personally believe suicide is a one way ticket to hell.I have read just to many things about people that did that and came back to tell about it,that's exactly where they went.i will be praying for you sister Godbless

Maryland NEW
by: Anonymous

Dear Lord, In Jesus Name I thank you for sending this sweet child in Maryland all of the help that she needs. You would leave no child an orphan, thank you for sending her a mother and father figure to help her in this time of great need. I thank you and Praise you in Jesus Name!!

You are Loved
by: Anonymous

Through tears I want to tell you that you are loved. You are God's child. You are loved.
Be strong, I pray for you to have inner peace.

pls dont give up
by: Anonymous

I too have felt that why and there are still days i do.please don't hurt yourself.god is with you even if you think he isn't.in time things will workout but just keep the faith.life is so hard but you are not alone. I will keep you in my prayers

resist the devil
by: Anonymous

Tribulations haunt some of us more than others. Did you know that schizophrenics tend to have one thing in common. They are almost always concerned about GOD. What a coincidence. They want to know Jesus and His Love and His saving Grace and his healing power, but somehow their minds are tortured. That conveniently keeps them from the plan God has for their lives. Resist the devil and he will flee.

Let Us be a Beacon for All
by: Anonymous

To Debbie and everyone who agrees with your comments about the Ignorance in this world:
Let us form a pact and for the next Seven Days pray for those who are in the dark and remain in the lower realms of ignorance.
They remain ignorant because they are hurting. (Remember that 'hurting people hurt people.'
Let us please pray for them to find their way back to the light so that they, too, may have an opportunity to heal and become whole once again.
Perhaps our prayers are all they have at this time. Let's ask God to have mercy on them and bring their lives back into harmony.
If, as Christians, we are to practice the fruits of the spirit--then Love, Patience Kindness and Gentleness are in order here.
Remember that when Jesus was being crucified, he said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
So let's pray for the blind, lame and crippled as well. Thank you to everyone for your prayers towards world peace.
Love and Peace to All

Ignore the Village Idiots trying to harm you
by: Debbie

To the ignorant & arrogant people convincing others to do harm to themselves on this website - You're out of control and apparently this is your way of seeking control over others, preying on people who are feeling helpless, you make me sick. You are not extending a hand to help, but rather just pushing people beyond the edge they stand on. Why would you do this? You could be causing someone to lose a loved with due to your ARROGANT remarks. You could be encouraging the people to seek help & guidance, which you should be seeking some serious counseling yourself as to why you get a kick out of hurting others. This is the bad thing about the internet - the village idiots have too much say nowadays!

If you believe God loves you, why would you?
by: Debbie

There are people you know and even people you don't know that care about you. It would break many hearts and cause endless suffering on others if you harm yourself. All of Heaven would be sad. By not allowing others to help you, you are denying yourself of happiness. You need to get counseling from a priest or psychologist. Priests have just as much training for counseling others as a psychologist. You need to see your family doctor to see if there are physical reasons causing depression. Please do not kill yourself. Know that there are thousands of people out there wanting to help you, but you have to take a step forward to let them know you. Much like being in a burning home, would you hide and not let a fireman know where you were? You take the first step in helping yourself and others will help carry you. You need to change things in your life, little things at a time. Start with small things that will help you feel better about yourself. Go to public places, like beautiful parks, museums, community events, take a night course, get out and meet others, find new friends. You might just be the answer to someone else's prayers as well. Life can be full of disappointments, but don't let them overwhelm you. Please rise above it. Find inspirational & motivating music, movies, etc. Free at the library. Don't watch & listen to things that will make you more down. Also, please don't view "sermons" as being aimed at you, they are all talks to advise how things in life can have damaging effects and how to heal or rise above it. Don't prejudge the people at church, many are or were in bad situations and have turned to God as well. There is NO good in killing yourself, nothing good will come out of it...the devil will try hard to convince you, but don't listen to him.

I'll try...
by: Anonymous

I am not very good at praying, but I will try to pray for you.

I feel you
by: Anonymous

There has been so many times that I thought that ending my life made so much since but then the devil will have won and even with all I have going on..no job...illness...kids out of control..stress level high...marriage in trouble...im in tears typing this...i will be homeless come Monday but I still have faith that God will see me through..

Why don't you Start all Over
by: Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
Why don't you just start all over. Begin by being your own best friend and stop beating yourself up. I am 48 years old and am now enjoying my life more than I ever have when I was much younger. I discovered why I was unhappy all of these years. My 'soul' was blocked and I was full of fear and living my life on auto pilot. It wasn't until everything came crashing down around me that I awakened to my true purpose in life. I am currently on a spiritual journey and God is revealing my purpose to me on a daily basis. I am delighting in being of service to others and have never been happier volunteering and putting others' needs before my own. God has a plan for you. Please read Jeremiah 29:11 and ask him to reveal his plans for your life. You are a light in this world and were meant to shine like a beacon for others. Perhaps your purpose is to counsel others who have lost their will to live because they are in the dark. Perhaps your purpose is to help them find their way back to the light. Please don't give up on yourself...you are needed in this world...you have a purpose. Please ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and to reveal your purpose to you. I send you Light and Love.

Do It!
by: Anonymous

It'll be so worth it. You can't stand suffering so you might as well end it. It's the only full-proof way.

Oh Please don't do it!!!
by: Anonymous

I must admit that I came to this page to see if my prayer was listed. As I ran down the page I saw your post and immediately clicked on it. After reading your post I have to say you are wrong for thinking that god hasn't herd your prayers. As you can see so many people care about you that you shouldn't feel alone. I don't know your whole story but there is no reason on this earth cvor you to end your life. Please don't give up. God has a plan for you and you will be fine.

God bless
Denise

Please don't make that choice
by: Anonymous

I do not know your story, but I pray that you will consider making another choice. I have seen the mark that suicide leaves on this world, and no matter how worthless you might feel right now, you will leave behind unimaginable suffering for others. Maybe even more important is the fact that the only thing we know about feelings is that they will change. This too shall pass....PLEASE DON"T DO THIS!

shake the devil off
by: c

ask for strength and stay strong and think about people in a worse way than you and you will no you bless

life will change
by: carla snow

stay strong and listen to god i am at hard times to but i made thew this year and i ask for a better year i had thougth of killing myself but i no god will send me to hell and i been to good 2 go there stay strong and ask for strength that's how i made it i never had to borrow and at times i want to steal but god got big things for me and i will be here when he give it to me

he is a on time god
by: don't

i no how you feel i have a disable child this is the most stress in life i have made it my rent been do and my son father had a wreck and we don't get support any more and i go to bed at 7 to 10 nite a month i have to feed the kids first right everyday i no i can make and everyday i wish i couldn't be here but the thing you have to ask for strength god will guide you i am stuggling and i need help i am doing this on my own i was adopt my real mom is a drunk my real dad has cancer and live in a hotel and my real brother stole my money just keep talking the jesus and he take time but he is a on time god he will he take care of you he have takin care of us just have faith and stay prayed up and full of the lord words stay strong i have to

it will get better!
by: Anonymous

weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning! No trouble last always. Ever new day brings with it a new opportunity, new hope, new chances, a new connections (look at me taking to you now). Give a new day a new chance. Watch God bring a fresh wave of inspiration into your life! Go out in da morning and watch the sunrise. God will arise in you with healing in his wings and a new outlook on life. Be blessed and rejoice in your new day!

Don't give up!
by: Anonymous

Only if you kill yourself will you be a failure. By commiting suicide you are telling god that he is not worth living for, that he created a failure, and that he is flawed. All sins can be forgiven in the most horrible ones. Nobody is a failure if they keep faith, trust in god, and live for him, life in not about what you want. Some of the most wonderful people have the hardest most tragic lives, but the one's who never give up no matter what evil throws their way are the most beautiful in gods eyes.

don't give up the battle is not your's it's the lord
by: Anonymous

please don't kill yourself. there is a reason for you going through what you are going through and if you give up now you will never know what that reason is. remember the sin is not in falling down but in not getting back up and giving up should not be an option becausse god truly loves you and no matter how many times you mess up just don't give up.

Do not kill yourself
by: Anonymous

God put you on this planet for a reason. It is not your responsibility to take your life it is His
keep trying,God will bless you in his own time not yours .

I AM 55 YRS old i just quit drinking after 30 yrs, in spite all the prayers i sent to God to help me stop. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU

Catherine

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Please forgive me for killing myself

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Please forgive me for killing myself