Prayer for the love I wish to spend my life with for reconciliation
(Calgary Alberta Canada)
I was dating a lovely lady for roughly 3 months during the course of time we got along so very well and everything was great. We enjoyed every moment together, I knew in my heart this was the woman I want to be with. It got to the point where my feelings developed and I felt I loved her and would want to marry her one day to share the rest of my life with her.
But a time came when she stopped seeing me. She took a second job to help pay for mortgages and bills she has. So she stopped seeing me and stopped talking to me when just a short time earlier we were seeing each other regularly and talking regularly and we were very happy.
But when she stopped seeing me and all time I tried to call the conversation was cut short by her saying she would talk to me later soon everything stopped. I was hurt and confused and tried to contact her. I sent messages and in messaging services also and said things that were hurtful because I did not know fully why everything had stopped when all I wanted was to be with her more, care more, love her more which meant helping her in any way possible. Some things were said which were hurtful in the course of my messaging and emails.
We met for valentines and I bought her a huge bouquet of flowers and chocolates and we went for dinner in crowded restaurant where I could not even express myself with so many people around.
Following that I tried to ask her out again and she denied that. Also followed up with other attempts and she just distanced herself more.
More things were said because I felt so hurt when just a month earlier we were so happy and seeing each other regularly.. I thought it was over and said more things which were hurtful because I was so hurt from not seeing her. I really thought she did not want to see me anymore.
I do not want her gone from my life because I love her so much and wanted nothing more then to be with her more and be happy together as we were before. But I really messed up and have no idea how I can fix it. I cannot message her because that causes more confusion, misunderstandings, pain and hurt and I also have no way to talk to her.
I love her more then anyone in my entire life and I want her to be with me the rest of my life. her aunt works with me and I'm even embarrassed to see her and cannot say nothing because she will be as upset about all I did and said so I cannot even talk to her about it.
All I wanted was to be
with her and to be happy as we were before. We went from seeing each other regularly and talking happily on the phone each day to not seeing each other and not talking anymore in a very short time.
I love her more than anyone in my life and she is a Christian woman and I am praying to god to help us find a way back to reconcile in person or by talking. Sending messages or messaging only makes it worse as we are both very hurt. I just want things to be as they were before and wish for the love to grow on her part also. I know I have to give her space as I feel I have smothered her but could not help my heart as I felt I was losing her from my life when she stopped seeing or talking to me as we were before.
I do not want her gone from my life but I want her to be my life. I want her to be with me until our last days. I care about her and love her more than anything and now she thinks I do not care because of the things that were said by messaging because of my hurting, confused heart.
I am praying that god will bring us to a point where we can meet face to face or talk and reconcile. The computer is a bad place to sit when you are hurting and cannot contact someone by any other means then messaging. Feelings and hurts get dumped out and I made a huge mistake doing so when I never meant anything I said. I am hurting so badly.
I do not want her gone from my life because I do not feel I will ever have a chance to love someone again. I know she is the right person because when we were together before we were both very happy all the time and had so many similar interests and likes.
I want her back in my life and I want to change all of this for the better with her. I am praying for reconciliation over all that happened and want to have her in my life for the rest of my life, I am suffering deeply.
Please help me please pray for me and pray that god will give us a chance to reconcile everything between us. Please pray for her that she will one day open her heart to reconcile and realise how much I loved her and just wanted to be with her and love her more and share life with her and be happy together.
If I lose her I will lose my life. Please help me. I want it all to be fixed and I pray for happiness and reconciliation between us. Please pray for us. I do not want to lose her.