Prayer for the marriage that died a thousands times
We are seperated have been for over a year, but every few months we try again After a few months we are back to being separated.His kids with him, my kid with me.We just foreclosed on the marriage home and I have been living in a small apt. He tells me what he doesn't like about me and I of course ask and wonder why he thinks I'm not a good person.So in turn I give it back. He says he loves me its why he tells me that I'm not a good person. I say why are you with me, he says he loves me. How is that possible? However,God's words on divorce scare the both of us. Are we only staying together because God says we have too to get into heaven, and so Jesus suffered so should we here on earth so we can be in Heaven were no more suffering will ever be.? We have gotten to the point where counseling didn't help and no matter what beautiful tattoo or jewelry is given it just doesn't change.
I don't know where else to turn. I have prayed a thousand prayers to help me and this family. We forgive the other over and over for our errors and for being human I hold on to stuff and he does too we both put it out there when it's convenient to hurt the other. He always leaves with my step daughter who l love to tears and separates us as she can take his side in the situation. I thought God really did want us to stay together; as last year God took my step daughters mom to heaven and that same year 6 months earlier my son's father left us too. I don't know how to pray anymore about this I just cry out for help and I don't know what type of help I want.
My husband has been sober for 2 years and attends AA regularly. I have autoimmune conditions that keeps me from working and so I have been on disability since 2012. I put all my care into keeping a clean home and clean kids. I try the best I can with what I am able which somedays isn't a lot he brings me more stress than any of the kids do, then I'm exhausted and out flat for days. I work real hard at being a great stay at home mom. The only kid I seem to be dealing with regularly is my husband. We have been married almost 10 years this Fall. I don't know what to do anymore. Please help us find the answers the]at God places on our hearts. In Jesus name I pray.. Amen