Prayer for this Trying Time in My Life

by S
(NJ)

Dear God, as you know I am going through a rough, trying time in my life. please give me the strength and knowledge to get through it. I am only a junior in high school and it feels as though I'm going through the hardest time in my life so far.

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I feel like I cannot get through it, I need your help. I feel like I keep doing wrong but, I only do it because it eases the pain for a while. I feel like my friends aren't my real friends anymore and that everyone uses me. I told my boyfriend we needed to take a break because I no longer feel the love from him and he does not know what he does wrong.

Now he doesn't answer me and I don't know why he is hurting me like this, I understand that I hurt him but we both love each other and I really need him to understand why I did it. I feel like everything that happening in my life is my fault and you are punishing me for my actions. I have anxiety attacks and I think I have depression, I need help.

I feel like I can't tell anyone because no one understands. I don't want anyone to pity me or treat any different because of how I feel. my mom won't understand and I feel like I can't tell her everything because she will get mad at the wrong things that I do. I need help and your guidance, please, I can't go on like this anymore. it's killing me on the inside.

In front of people I seem happy but when I'm alone all I do is cry, I cry myself to sleep every night. I know that you would are testing me and would not give me anything I can not handle. But, I feel hopeless, I think about suicide everyday, but I don't do it because I don't want to go to hell.

Please, God, help me.

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