Prayer for understanding and help

Dear god or higher power,I need help at this point in my life-so far i have been blessed and still question if god exists for now.

I try to understand why my father was paralized when he was a good man--maybe iam selfish to ask for help when i know i have so much to be thankful for. Now i see how wasted my life for so long.

I dont want to lose my family and hope its not too late for me.

I am a good person i think and give me the strength to stop my addiction to drugs, help me to find myself and thank you for taking care of my kids and Lila for now.

Thank you to anyone who might say a prayer for me.