Prayer of Acceptance after Avoidance - I Am a Mess

by Help Me God

I don't have wings. I can't fly, but felt years ago that I had to to prove myself. What I ended up with was insanity. I did not accept that I was growing older. I abused myself for my past. Lived in denial. The truth is too hard for me to deal with, although, up until 5 years ago I was doing okay. I was surrounded by a reality that paralyzed me. I have quit growing/helping/being of useful service.


I was afraid to change and be myself. I am a mess. Please pray for me for peace of mind. I need to regain my balance again. My reality is loneliness and a non-marriage. I am no longer pretty or will ever have children. I need prayers to accept what is and grow again. I stopped growing at 43 when my spouse was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. It paralyzed me & I quit. I am crazy and dangerous, but not in a good way. I won't hurt anyone but myself, but I am crazy because I can't accept what is. I kept fighting - trying hard to fake it until I made it. Unhappy, unfulfilled, living in a surreal, unreal world. so many "un's".

I have made my disaster thoughts a reality. I need prayers. I lost a pet during this stressful time. I need to grow up, have faith, and get a grip. Let go and go on.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Prayer for Peace of Mind.