So Depressed, Confused and Desperately Need Strength.

by Tracy
(Canada)

After 15 years of happy marriage, I slowly found out that my wife is a cold habitual liar. It turns out that just before we married, when we were in a long distance relationship, she would write me letters saying how much she loved me, missed me, and was being faithfull. Then she would go have sex with strangers. Up to five at a time. There were several 'incidents' shortly after we were married as well. She angrily maintained her complete innocence - even in prayer - until I found proof. Though I always had suspicions, it's been a 5-7 year process of lies, proof, and more lies. I've lost hope. I have no drive or ambition at work and I have even developed a porn addiction. My children have grown up with a weak, depressed and withdrawn father.

Father God, Lord of heaven and earth. I cry out to you in anguish and heartache. I confess my sin and impatience Lord. It's been going on so long! It was over 5 years ago that this really started.

I choose to forgive out of obedience to you, your word, and out of the remnant of love I still have for my wife. I forgive her for all her cheating and all of her lies and I ask that you make that forgiveness real and complete in me as you continue to lift the layers of pain. Father I ask that you give me the strength and willingness to persevere in choosing forgiveness until it is accomplished in me by your holy power. I let go of all resentments and bitterness and judgements in my heart. Wash me clean Lord with the blood of Jesus.

Help me to look with compassion upon her, for I know she was badly wounded (she was sexually abused as a child). Renew a right sprit in me.

I ask you to bless her Lord. Bless her mind, body, and soul. Heal her original wounds Lord and soften her heart that she may see and realize what the lies have done to me, our marriage, and our family. Help her to value truth from herself. I release her to your loving care Lord.

I forgive as Jesus forgives me. And to that I ask for strength in my inner man today Lord. Help me to reject the temptations and stand in the righteousness provided by Jesus' atonement for my sins.

Finally, I ask for wisdom Lord to know how to deal with this whole situation. We are broken Lord and we turn to you for help.

In Jesus mighty name, amen.