Surrender Prayer

by helen
(nj)

With hands raised in surrender Dear Lord and knees bowed down before you, I come crying for your help in this the most difficult of times. Where not even anger, endless tears seem to find solution. Here in a depth so low and dark that though sleep is welcomed it gives peace but momentarily, when I awake still i walk in those places that are have killed my heart and now threaten to take my mind. Before they do come quickly and give me your grace that will help me to understand lead me to the place of healing so that I may be of help to those around me that need it as it is now anger had made a home in my heart and slowly changed the person that i am though i cry my heart remains numb, feeling almost nothing. Instead acting out of necessity. Lord you are perfect not I, but you gave me a heart that cares but even that I have no more. Work overwhelms me when all others seem to be done in good time am left struggling just attempting to get out. I hate that for you know I account for every minute none do I waste , but everyday am the one that remains first to come in last to leave. My weight keeps creeping up, I know what I have to do but have no desire to get up and make the change that I need. Am like a robot . Frustrated at myself I bought books to read more on what I do, but there are building up dust. This beautiful home I live in is just trashed out i feel so overwhelmed not knowing what i can leave for tomorrow and what i have to start on i need you to take this walk with me on my own i have already lost the battle i need you to give me the strength to fight again

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