Used,abused,& confused

I found this website completely helpful by reading of others situations, but what meant the most were the sweet encouraging responses. Today is my anniversary, I bought a marriage seminar package along with a very nice hotel to stay in for the entire duration of the seminar, for me & my husband. We need a miracle. Both families on either side are super religious & controlling. My husband has set boundaries, we were encouraged by 2 pastors to do so. My children no longer wanted a relationship with grandparents for fear of the anger & abusive words they have spoken to my children. My husband has never forgiven or put his resentment against our parents away. I have, although I miss my parents deeply, I cannot allow my mothers 'hurtful cycle' to continue in my life. We want grandparents in our lives, to be a part of our children's activities, but my husbands anger towards them is now turned towards me b/c they won't change. He speaks of them and their hatefulness constantly, making sure I'm not around them, which I can't b/c of boundaries there, & hes not wanting the both sides of families to get any glory from our beautiful, talented children, when they graduate or get married. I'm dealing with his not wanting to take the blame that he's doing the very same thing to me that he's accusing them of doing. It's going too far, I'm hurting & not getting spiritual leadership, I have no family to turn to, marriage seminars, counseling did not work. He has promised to change, stop yelling, & be there for me & our children but does not care or want to work at it. I'm becoming sick, needing medicines, & have no energy to 'fight' back his angry words. Although he has never hit me, his anger & quick temper are enough. I am a victim of sexual child abuse when only 6 yrs old from 2 male babysitters & have a huge fear of forceful men, my husband has been my best friend but now he's becoming someone I do not know anymore. He's hurting from having to be the sole provider with no parents on either side to help us but he's getting worse towards me in his words & noncommittment to help around the house. God has to help us, or I don't think I'll be able to stay & rear my last child here, as my older ones are in college & away from home. my husband uses cop out apologies for his action, he's even replied to me, when I told him I would leave him, that he would pay my bills & I could have the house also. That hurts so much that he won't come after me or change his ways to save our marriage. We have so much to be thankful for. He only sees the bad & complains its never good enough. Even when God covers all our expenses to pay all our bills.

336x280:
I need help.

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