Long story short I had an affair and I was in ministry. I had to resign and it took everything out of me. My husband decided to stay with me but doesn’t want to stay at our church. The church kept it quiet and I just want to go back. I told the pastor I was leaving and tried other churches and didn’t feel like I fit in at those churches. I tried to go back to my old church and the pastor wants to talk to me. I haven’t told him the circumstances yet that my husband doesn’t want to go there. My husband told me I was selfish and don’t care about his feelings. I do care about his feelings he just doesn’t want to forgive the guy who I had the affair with. I know I should not be able to serve there and have been told I couldn’t serve for 6 months. Now my six months are up and I feel like I could go back as a regular church goer but my husband said he doesn’t want to go. I know I have to abide by my husband but it’s making me feel rejected and unworthy. I don’t know what to do and have been crying all night long and am having a hard time focusing on my job today. I am at the point where I don’t feel accepted anywhere and want to give up on going to church. I know this is wrong but that’s how I am feeling. I already went to counseling for myself and my husband did too. We did couples therapy too. I just feel out of place and out of sync when I don’t go to church. I was going to my church for many years and have many friends there. My husband didn’t have a relationship with anyone because he is more of a loner. I can see his side of feeling uncomfortable and humiliated but I miss my church family. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I am so distraught over this. Do I just give up on going there? Please pray for me . Thank you
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